Social Media: Some People May Have Many Online Friends But Still Feel Lonely In Real Life

By: Oluwatobiloba Oreyemi

The social media world and economy have perhaps created more digital innovations, social relations, and global connectivity than any contemporary technological tool. However, just like any other tool, depending on how people and organisations use it, there are some merits and demerits associated with it that connect people more to the world or isolate them from the world.

To get an experiential understanding of how social media is impacting people and their lives, Saturday Tribune interviewed some Nigerians who use the platform for personal and business purposes. The question posed to them was: ‘Has social media made people more connected or isolated?’ The merits and demerits of the digital platform were mostly taken into account while considering the answer to the question. It also considered how it affects children, especially how big technology and social media founders let their children navigate the tools.

Olawale Omotolani, one of the Nigerians interviewed, said that social media helps people stay connected with family, friends, colleagues, and others across the world, making communication faster and allowing people to find communities where they feel supported.

Omotolani said that social media in itself is not necessarily good or bad, but excessive use can lead to isolation, adding, “Some people may have many online friends but still feel lonely in real life. Comparing their lives with what others post can also make them feel left out or inadequate.”

Esther Godwin lent her voice to the matter, saying that social media has changed the way people connect and communicate with one another, increased their awareness of local and global happenings, and offers them the confidence to express their opinions.

“Through different platforms, people learn and build relationships despite being far apart. Although it can sometimes make people feel isolated. On the other hand, I believe it has generally made people more connected,” she said.

When social media (its many associated tools and innovations) is discussed in terms of connecting people and organisations, it generally points to the merits of the platform. In this light, some of the merits of the tool that foster connectivity and productivity are local and global connectivity, social connection, information dissemination, business opportunities, skill acquisition, and community building, among others.

On the other hand, when social media is associated with things that isolate and alienate people or pose a threat to organisations and businesses, the demerits of the platform comes to mind. And some of these demerits include privacy concerns, misinformation, mental health impact, cyberbullying, and digital addiction, among others.

The effects of social media on mental health through constant social comparison, the addictive nature of algorithmically curated feeds, and the constant barrage of notifications lead to a state of continuous partial attention, which affects meaningful work, rest, and sleep. Furthermore, when digital engagement is prioritised over physical interaction, the quality of social bonds often suffers, leading to a sense of digital loneliness despite being connected.

The website, eduedge.blog, succinctly described it this way: “The pursuit of digital validation through ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ creates a dopamine-driven feedback loop. This demerit is particularly harmful to younger demographics, as it ties self-worth to volatile metrics of online popularity rather than intrinsic values.”

Rebecca Jesutofunmi, another Nigerian, said that social media has “made us way more connected. But, whether we actually feel connected depends on how we use it. If we use it to actually talk and meet up, it helps. If we just use it to compare and scroll, it makes us isolated.”

Stephen Brown added his voice. He noted that as a promoter or content creator, the platform helps people know “you better and gives you opportunities to connect with new people”. However, he added, “Social media can also cause isolation. It is common to see people sitting alone, scrolling, and laughing, instead of interacting with those around them.”

According to a May 2026 article on eduedge.blog titled ‘Merits and demerits of social media’, the merits and demerits of social media centre on its ability to democratise information and foster global connection while simultaneously risking user privacy and mental well-being.

According to the article, the same tools that empower free speech can be weaponised to distort reality through biased algorithms. Hence, it cautioned that in an era of hyper-connectivity, understanding these trade-offs is essential for maintaining both digital productivity and psychological health.

It advised that navigating these complexities requires a strategic approach to digital engagement, adding that balancing the merits and demerits of social media requires intentional digital minimalism and active curation of one’s online environment.

Nigerians are still talking about the issue. Hassan Omolayo noted that through Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and others, more people, friends, and families are more connected than before, therefore making communication faster and easier, instead of having to visit people physically or sending letters. He opined that, “Rather than isolating people, it has helped many maintain relationships and build new connections.”

Rokeeb Ayobami stated that social media has connected people, friends and family, especially those who are far away, but has made people feel isolated because they spend more time online than having real-life conversations.

“Seeing other people’s seemingly perfect lives can also lead to comparison and loneliness. Whether social media brings us closer or makes us isolated depends largely on how we use it,” Ayobami said.

Joseph Wisdom, another Nigerian, said, “Social media has actually made me more connected, although it can sometimes make me feel isolated.” However, he added, “Social media also gives me opportunities to learn, connect with potential clients, and discover useful information. Overall, I believe it depends on how I choose to use it.”

The merits and demerits of social media can be viewed from its effects on children and what the giant technology companies and social media platform founders are saying about it.

A February 21, 2026, fortune.com article titled ‘Peter Thiel and other tech billionaires are publicly shielding their children from the products that made them rich’ revealed that despite building an increasingly screen-focused world, billionaire tech leaders are keeping their own children away from the technology they helped create.

According to the article, as far back as 2010, Apple co-founder Steve Jobs told a New York Times reporter that his kids had never used an iPad and that, “We limit how much technology our kids use at home.”

Also, according to the same article, YouTube co-founder Steve Chen said at a talk at the Stanford Graduate School of Business last year that he would not want his kids consuming only short-form content, noting that it might be better to limit kids to videos longer than 15 minutes.

Victor Adegboyega opined that social media connects and isolates people depending on usage. For him, social media has also created business opportunities, allowing creators, freelancers, and vendors to connect with clients without needing a physical shop or billboard. “However, it can also isolate people. It can bring people closer or push them apart,” he added.

Quadri Akanbi said the platform has made people more connected in many ways, helped keep relationships alive, and made it easier to share information, educate others, and learn new things.

Still on social media and how it relates to children and the big technology founders. The news website, business-standard.com, on December 14, 2025, published an article titled ‘Why big tech bosses are keeping their kids off social media platforms’. The article stated that from YouTube CEO Neal Mohan to Bill Gates, top tech leaders are limiting their children’s screen time as studies link social media to teen anxiety and governments move towards age bans.

The article revealed that academic research has increasingly linked heavy social media use to anxiety, depression and sleep disruption among teenagers.

On this note, some countries like Australia, the United Kingdom, the European Union and parts of the United States have signalled that they are exploring stricter age-verification rules and limits on teen social media use. The move followed growing political and public concern about online harms.

Nigerians are still talking about this matter. Adeosun Ayomide said that, when used well, social media helps people stay connected. “However, it can also reduce real-life interaction and make people feel lonely. Sometimes, people spend more time online than talking to those around them. Social media can also make people compare their lives with others,” Ayomide added.

Another Nigerian, Similoluwa Olatunji, noted that social media connects people across distances and helps them maintain relationships through messages, video calls, comments, and shared posts. She added that during difficult times, online communities can provide support and words of encouragement.

The big question is: How should people manage the merits and the demerits of social media, including other associated technologies like artificial intelligence (AI) and gaming, especially for children?

Kate Doerksen, the co-founder and CEO of Sage Haven, an app that helps parents monitor their kids’ messaging, offered some clues in a March 15, 2026  article on africa.businessinsider.com titled ‘How tech CEOs and leaders balance AI, gaming, and social media for their families’.

In this fast-evolving digital world, managing children means constantly monitoring and making decisions on how they use social media platforms. For Doerksen — with two children, seven and nine years old — it is about finding a middle ground. She plans to delay smartphones and social media, but her daughter has an Apple Watch with Messenger, which she monitors.

“It’s not tech abstinence, and it’s not unlimited, unfettered usage. It’s moderate usage on non-addictive apps and games with boundaries,” she said.

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The Business Insider article also narrated the story of Niyoka McCoy, chief learning officer at the online education company Stride, who sees tech as a normal part of life, but she is still intentional about how her children, who are fourteen and two years old, use it.

“We believe technology should be a tool for learning and creativity first, and entertainment second,” she said.

The total avoidance of social media demerits is difficult in this modern technological economy and is a matter of digital autonomy, but the risks associated with it can be significantly mitigated through intentional use, strict privacy settings, and implementing specific ‘digital hygiene’ practices.

The Nigerians interviewed in this matter agreed that social media has become a major part of how they communicate, share ideas, and maintain relationships, adding that its influence can be seen in their everyday lives. On the other hand, they are aware of how the platform can isolate people, create distance in real-life relationships, and affect meaningful work.